sideboob

A friend of mine is an art director for an artsy magazine and still has in his possession a comedically large, 1 liter bottle of Aqua Di Gio that was used for a photo shoot. Unlike movie sets where bottles of whiskey are filled with iced tea and actors are instructed to down rather large glasses of the stuff while making only the slightest of grimaces for the camera, apparently in fashion shoots they fill the bottles with actual cologne. This means my friend has about 0.995 liters of Aqua Di Gio left in the bottle.

So what’s the point here?

You could spray cologne around the photo shoot all day and not a single person is going to make a scene. (unless of course you accidentally sprayed someone in the eye.)

But, if you were beside a pool with a liter of Woodford Reserve - well, then you’d have a party.

(Photo via: nedhepburn [thanks, Ned])

Sometimes you just have to choose sides. Even though you put up that tough-as-sharkskin facade and you’re really more of a dog person, sometimes you just have admit that somewhere deep down there you kind of like cats.

Photo via: angrylambie1

Look, guys, I can’t caption everything. Sometimes you’re just going to have to think it up on your own.

(via poveralice)

syntheticpubes:

by Amity

Beyond vintage, this is Antique Sideboob. Historical evidence that even in the 1800’s when people thought the human race had advanced about as far as it was ever going to go because man had invented things like a process for canning food and factories ran by burning lumps of coal to heat up water and it was socially acceptable to smoke opium at dinner parties - they still used sideboob as a currency. At a time when no extravagance was spared because, hey if we can take a steamer from Brighton to New York in a leisurely 4 weeks, why can’t we also have a bunch of lavish paintings of naked girls lying around?

And so someone, as the artist’s patron, paid to have this painted. Someone decided that they so desperately needed a piece of sideboob hanging on their wall that they would let some scruffy painter live in their villa, rent-free for several months while the guy lounged around in his bedclothes eating exotic fruits like apricots and ogled all the nude models that came over until he finally finished the thing.

Photo via: upupup:

La Grand Odalisque by Jean-Auguste-Dominique Ingres. 1814

sixtyfourwest:

by Juampi Bonino

Now, those are some strategic armholes.

(photo by: Pablo Franco, via: sixtyfourwest)

sarazucker:

i do this sometimes; i don’t mind having a bit of undergarment show itself. it’s better than side-boob, don’t you agree? people will now know that you are keeping the twins up and center. she isn’t trying to turn you on, she’s just letting you know that she is keeping things where they belong. (via turned out)

We at sideboob would like to respectfully disagree.

I’ll concede that it’s nice that she’s letting us know that everything is in order and she’s providing proper support where necessary, but even if she’s not intentionally trying to turn us on, that little lacey bit peeping out from armholes that are cut to fit like my little league basketball jersey from the 4th grade is actually doing the trick quite nicely.

Kristin Cavallari isn’t really anything special, in terms of “photos of girls that are on the internet.” But I like that even though the only thing she’s ever really done is look cute and act like a normal, catty high school girl while someone filmed it, there’s still a market for photos of her.

In fact, the most interesting part of this photo is that she’s wearing so much jewelry at the beach. Why do ladies insist on getting all dolled up to hit the beach? Doesn’t the wind mess up your hair? Don’t all those beaded bracelets get sandy? What about weird tan lines? Isn’t she afraid she’ll lose that shiny ring in the ocean? Or worse, what if she get salt water under it and then develops some kind of fungus and then her ring finger smells bad and then no dude is ever going to want to “put a ring on it,” as it were.

Note to self: don’t try to marry Kristin Cavallari because her ring finger smells like your old gym locker.

(Photo via: Egotastic)

See, now these girls are clearly European. The guy, on the other hand, is not. You can tell by a) the boardshorts. Eurodudes don’t go for the surfing baggies and b) the fact that he’s pretending to take that deep, meaningful ocean photo that actually looks really lame because, hey man we’ve all seen a fucking ocean before, for all I know that could just be a really sandy lake somewhere - but really he’s grabbing a wide angle spy photo of these two lovelies.

On the other hand, these ladies are so blasé about the whole thing that they certainly know what’s up. And they’re totally down with giving the poor, puritanical American a little peepshow, because of how Jesus is our Secretary of State and everything.

Photo is “Wide Angle Sideboob” submitted by DirkB (P.S. did you know you can now submit a photo/post/link right there on the site? I’m not totally sure how it works yet, but that’s a thing you can do now! Disclaimer: if you write something, I can’t guarantee I won’t delete it and write my own, but I’ll at least let everyone know who sent it in, capiche? OK, great.)